Reassurance
by Shannon C. Redfield
Summary: One shot, NickxEllis, Nellis. Ellis has his doubts about something involving one of his friends, and all Nick can do is lend an ear and listen.


**WARNING: **NickxEllis (Nellis) ahead. Although there really isn't anything to be warned about for this one. It was written for a friend who's been having a tough time.

**DISCLAIMER: **Valve owns these wonderful boys, not I. But I do however, own this story.

* * *

><p>There were certain sounds that bothered Nick when he least expected it.<p>

It wasn't like he heard the random noises every day, just not often. They always seemed to take a few seconds to register from being something ignorable up to beginning to get on his nerves. Some were easily discarded while others would slowly make his blood boil.

Each time was different and so was the way of how he would react to them. More or less handle them.

Only this time around he got to hear something that he never thought would have a more powerful effect on his being.

"Ellis?" Nick gently asked as he stood in the doorway to their bedroom. "You okay?"

The sound of his lover in despair.

Immediately the younger stood and turned, blue eyes wide just enough to be seen in the dimness of the room. "Nick!" Ellis said, surprised, while trying his best to compose himself from his earlier position. "Yer…yer home early."

"What's wrong?" He demanded, avoiding the statement. He watched as Ellis fidgeted uncomfortably under his stare; eyes breaking contact and hands being rubbed together. It didn't take a genius to figure out that something was troubling him. "And don't tell me 'nothing' because obviously something is bothering you and I want to know what it is and why."

A nervous hand came up and ran through a hat-less head of curls. El's mouth opened and closed as if deciding whether or not he should let his lover know what the problem was, while his eyes darted back and forth between him and the floor. Without another word, he finally sat back down on the bed and rested his elbows on his knees. When the only other sound was that of the invisible crickets did Nick approach.

This was most troubling to say the least, especially since the kid was dressed only in his boxers and evidently didn't take the time to wash away a day's worth of sweat. To see him in this current state-of-mind suddenly made Nick switch into protective mode—as in whoever caused this to happen would, eventually, feel his wrath.

The gambler took his place in front of him; settling down on one knee in-between his legs to look at a face hidden behind oil-grimed palms. Usually one would sit next to the other and offer a touch of comfort, but for some odd reason he felt compelled to do what he was doing now, even if he just got home and was itching to dress into something less classy yet comfortable.

Nick watched as Ellis took in a deep breath and let it out, rubbing his forehead with both hands before resting his chin upon linked fingers; Adam's apple bobbing as his carefully contained anguish started to eat away at his exterior. A lot of things didn't particularly bother the young man in the least, and he usually took everything in stride with a focused mind and clear conscience…but Nick had a feeling this time around, that whatever the trouble was, he was sure it was reaching a point where his heart was surely suffering. If not breaking.

Over what he could only guess.

"Ellis?" Nick asked again, softly, green eyes searching blue for a hint of something—anything. Although some time ago the mechanic was making noises that were due to his inner woes, now, the more the gambler was able to study his features, there weren't any signs at all that he'd been crying. Curious. "Tell me what's bothering you." Rather than answer like any normal person would, El's right leg took on a mind of its own—by shaking up and down nervously. The conman smirked, semi-amused by the sight. "Surely it can't be that bad—"

"It is," Ellis stated matter-of-factly. Again he made a show of running his hands through the soft curls. The conundrum of whatever he was thinking about was becoming more evident on his face with each passing second. "I jus'…I jus' wish…"

Nick raised an eyebrow in slight annoyance. "What?" The mechanic took in another breath and let it out rather sharply in an effort to calm himself. "Ellis whatever it is, it's okay. You can tell me." Then, without much warning (he wasn't sure if it was because of his lover's expression or body language) he had a sickening feeling enter his gut. Immediately, though not roughly, he grabbed onto his wrists and squeezed, taking the other by surprise. "Are you having second thoughts…about us?"

Ellis' eyes practically bulged from his skull as his fingers unlaced and he gave the gambler a flabbergasted yet stunned look. Clearly Nick had struck an unwanted nerve. "No!" He said, mortified. "Why would—no! Nick, never would I…how could you even think that? No, that's not what's botherin' me. I'm loyal to you and only you!"

"Okay, okay kiddo. Calm down." Nick released him and rubbed one knee, the other hand cupping his lover's face. "I'll admit that was stupid of me to think that, but obviously something is on your mind and I want to know what it is. I can't read it so unless you tell me all I can do is speculate." Then a rather unpleasant thought occurred to him, replacing his earlier doubt and this time he made sure it was okay to voice it without upsetting his other half. "Is this about Keith and them?"

Ellis only gave a curt nod. It was enough to make the sharp-dressed man reluctantly pinch the bridge of his nose; of course it would be about his buddy and the other rednecks. What kind of trouble did they get into that made Ellis so distraught?

"Or is it about someone else in the group? You-know-who?"

Another deep breath, then Nick soon found himself rising, kissing El on the forehead before heading towards the closet to change. "Start from the beginning, I'm listening."

It ran a bit deeper on a more questionable level than Nick realized. Recently the group of friends had gone on a camping trip, Ellis among them, and unfortunately he had a rather 'upsetting talk' with one of them.

Ellis and this said person, along with a select few from the circle, were involved in a particular group where they were almost constantly active in it. Some more than others. It was something that the mechanic loved to be a part of yes, but not as deep as some of the members took it; particularly this said person—or so-called friend. Sure they've had their spats and quarrels about the inner workings of what they were into could be interpreted, and there wasn't exactly a way for one path or the other to be right or wrong. Everyone's idea of it was different. Therefore, they would play along with what they believed in.

With the exception of Ellis who saw it a particular way and loved to play it out with this said friend, sometimes the other would take it too far; as in to a more personal level.

This was the part where it started to become frustrating. While Ellis didn't mind being this one's partner and doing his best on making an idea come to life and having fun with it, the other always seemed to push it a bit too far to where suddenly it was more than 'just fun'—they made it become their life; the feedback they got (be it what they did with a partner or solo), the things they would contribute, would be the only thing they got up in the morning and go to bed at night for. Literally, it became their reason for living. Nothing else mattered. Only what they did.

Especially if praise and recognition didn't come fast enough, then it would become like a personal attack to their character; a low-blow in a sense, something that might 'make their heart stop beating.' It was becoming pathetic and time and again Ellis was getting sucked deeper and deeper into it. He admitted that he should have done something about it a long time ago like someone else, but the deeper he fell into the hole, the more it started to eat away at him and thus the more personal it became.

When the insults started coming his way and suddenly he was being blamed for things that weren't his fault, did El say that enough was enough.

"You're questioning whether or not you did the right thing," Nick stated rather than asked as he sat down next to him, dressed in his pajama bottoms. "Clearly this one needs to get help and eventually will have to wake up and smell the coffee. Did they pull this while you guys you out camping?"

"Purdy much. Seemed to be more interested in comin' up with new ideas than hang out and have a good time with every one."

He snorted. "And I'm guessing they brought the proper tools with them to make it so? Or at least write it down for later?"

"Yeah."

"Ass-clown." Nick wrapped an arm around his partner's shoulder, planting a kiss to his temple. "Don't worry about it too much, sport. You did all that you could and it's not like you're giving up on it just because of how seriously they're taking it, and it's not gonna stop you from enjoying it either. Just their interpretation seems to be all they care about."

"I know."

"Have you talked to everyone else?"

"I have, and only a few know how much it's been buggin' me."

"And what do they have to say about it?"

"Not a whole lot, other than they agree that I shouldn't have been treated the way I did."

"Good, because I agree with them: you're smarter than that, and I'm proud of you."

That brought a smile to Ellis' face. Nick's favorite look—other than the expression of ecstasy, of course. "Thanks Nick."

"You're welcome, kiddo."

Ellis embraced him and soon the two found themselves lying down on the bed. Nick could tell that talking it about really seemed to help for he finally relaxed and lived in the moment. The conman could only think of one other person who was into what El was and could only imagine what they discussed with the mechanic since they shared a similar dilemma with whom Nick was told about. To know that he wasn't truly the only one who knew about it seemed to lift an invisible weight off his chest. Ellis had a lot of good friends who cared and looked out for him.

Nick's stomach growled and the sound made his lover sit up on an elbow. "I'm guessin' ya didn't eat on yer way home?"

Another rumble, and this time it was louder. "I was gonna suggest going out to eat, but when I heard you making a fuss…it just kinda slipped my mind."

"Want to order a pizza?" Ellis offered. He looked over at the clock. "It's still not too late."

"How about we make chili and cook up some hot dogs?" Nick offered instead. "That way we can use up what you brought home from the camping trip."

"Sounds good to me."


End file.
